A picture says 1000 words

And yet, it would appear that my pictures are dyspraxic. I'm sorry, when I work out how to get a nice little thumbnail up and running, you will all be the first to know. Well, I'll be the first to know. And then you'll know.

Ok! Well, dissertations on the trickle down effect of knowledge (and I don't have the energy to be checking on whether or not it should be affect or effect) are all nice and good, but let's face it, you're all here to read about my travels. And boy do I have emails to share.

NB currently there are exactly 5 people who know about the existence and location of this blog. You should all be very proud!

PS And aren't you all learning new words today, hmmm?

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Hmmmm... ok, I can't seem to find any of the detailed emails I sent out regarding my stay in Malaysia. They must be around somewhere, but for a picture to be painted:

I have three uncles in Malaysia, and... (in case various family members are wondering why, exactly, I am detailing the bleeding obvious, it's for friends, so you can all skip this section if you wish) they are the retired school principle, the legal eagle, and the bank director. I stayed with the bank director uncle (who let's call Uncle Rama, because that is his name) and his family in kl.

KL is a nice place - very busy and vibrant, and polluted too. It's actually a shame I can't seem to find the emails I sent out, and only a few events really do linger in my mind of my first stay in KL, so let's see about that one, shall we?

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12/9 My birthday. On the morning of my b'day I arise bright and early, and go with my uncle to FRIM (Forest Research Institute of Malaaysia) where he was the longest serving director. FRIM is a large man-made forest complex near KL, with cool things like a canopy walk (and there will be pictures, just not big half-page ones!) and fish that eat bread, and tutrles, and leeches, and other things. And I've just realised I mentioned this in a previous email, so that's that for FRIM. But it was a lot of fun.
Actually, it was in FRIM that I decided to extned my trip a lot more, and see more things than just the quickie 4month rush through I had initially planned. I was sitting in a little log cabin in a tree many meters from the ground doing birthday pondering, and that was how the epiphany hit me.

13/9 Asian Heritage Road. Ok, so I go out tonight to party (and in kl, you can party every night. It's great like that) and I actually go to Bangsar. 4 years ago, Bagsar was the place to go, but now most of it is shut and boring. So, there I am, wandering Bangsar thinking "well, how shut and boring this is" when I decide to ask the locals where the cool cats hang out. Now, you might be wondering where I'm going with this one - the point of this anecdote as to how I actually GOT to AHRd is just to show you the interesting attitude of some of the men in Malaysia.
There is an attractive girl in a jacket, fm boots, maybe a scarf, I don't know, walking ahead of me. I see her and think "ah, this person looks like she might know where to go to party, and seeing as she is attractive, I should go and talk to her." As I approach, she is waiting at some lights and a burly indian-type male walks over, and they have a brief discussion. He then walks off, looking furious.
I approach, say hi, sorry to bother but where can I go etc etc, and after telling me AHRd, she asks how she looks. Fine, I say - to which she responds that burly man-india was asking whether or not she was a prostitute, and how much! This is odd on many levels, one being that there are no walking pros that I particularly noticed in Bangsar, and she really didn't look like one anyway. Anyhoo!

Ok, so, AHRd! Which stands for Asian Heritage Rd, doncher know. I get there around 11pm, and head into a club to do some dancing. I meet this very nice american couple, and we get some drinks. Now, once again I am noting the burly man types (mostly, sad to say, indian) running around and being a pain to the western women there. The girl part of the yankee couple was constantly being harangued by some indian buy while the male part and I were running around drinking and dancing and being, well, drunken dancing men. After many vodka onthe rockses, the last thing I can clearly remember is wandering up to a group of asians with a large bottle of JD sitting in front of them. It's late now, and they are not making much headway into it. With our glasses of vodka & rocks we ask them how the JS is going. One malay dude happily fills our vodka & rocks with jd. I then toast the american, and awoke the next day in my bed.
Conclusion: vodka, jd & rocks is a time travel device, that throws you 10 hours into he future. Who knows what a man could accompish with a large enough glass of this?

14/9 I have lunch and feel queasy. I think time travel does that to you.

15/9 Asian Heritage Rd and the Alliance Bank. Ok, so, buoyed by the fun I had at AHRd previously, I head there again - only this time, I get there at 8pm. Bad idea. ALL the bars have a private function on in the upstairs area, and no one is letting little old me in without an invite! As I walk back up the street, past the bar I'd spent 13th in, I realise that the woman who turned me away previously has left her post! I think quick, and nip up the stairs to see what is happening there.
I get in, and it is like I've walked into downtown asia! Which, as it happens, isn't that surprising a thing - but anyway, the entire place is full of asians. Not a caucasian in sight. Well, no, there is one - but comes in later.
I learn a few things from some people I chat to:
1. There is a free bar happening
2. This is an alliance bank function.
3. I should really get a beer while the free beer is on.

Well now, quick learner that I am, I decide to just do that. As I walk up to the bar, the only other white dude walks up to me and I ask him where the free beers are. He then gives me a quizzicle look, and then tells me that this is an Alliance Bank function. I look at him and say "of course". He then asks for the password.
Now, my stint at Macquarie Bank taught me that these things don't HAVE passwords - it's a drinks night, not a coup, for goodness sake! So I say, "there isn't one". Having exhausted his ability to suss out aussies who are crashing parties, he goes and gets me a beer. Good show!

I drink the beer, chat to some of the managers, and suddenly white-waiter realises that, well, there is only one caucasian in the entire bar, and really, what the heck are the odds? Flanked by two burly security types, he walks over and informs me that, contrary to what I've told him, I'm not a member and should leave! Well, the manager I am talking to turns to him and says "what are you talking about? He's an employee here, you can't kick him out!" HAha Caucasian waiter man! He wanders off, defeated, while the manager gives me his number and tells me I should call him and arrange for an interview at Alliance. Sadly, this is a friday, and I leave for s'pore on saturday, so I never did call him. Anyway, a night of free beer, happy people (even my cousin, sri-pathy, joins me later on! He's another story to himself - his energy for partying far eclipses mine) well and truly over, I head home.
Ok, the heading home involved:
catching a bus at 7am, being warmly greeted by the driver and his assistant, who commiserate with me over the untimely death of Steve Urwin.

Ok, that pretty much summerises what I did in Malaysia.

Oh, wait! Special thanks must, of course, go to my Uncle Rama and Auntie Viji who put me up and fed me delicious indian meals, and to my cousin Soumya who looked after me very well, even pushing herself to late night partying to keep me happy! Thanks Soumya!

And I should also thank my cousin Badhri for putting me up in Hong Kong for 3 nights, and to Sri Hari for giving me all sorts of useful cv and business advice.

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There are a pile more stories I could tell you about Malaysia #1, but it was a while back, and I should really be catching up to where I am now, which is INDIA!

(and it's very nice, but more on that later!)

PS Photos will be added! One day, sooner than you think (if you are impatient, try a big mug of vodka, jb and ice - that will do the trick!)